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Wednesday, 14 July 2010

Definitley annoyed.....

i am annoyed by you.. and this place.. and mil, who is suppose to be babysitting but decides she has to leave to help her daughter garden because she cant do it herself.. and this marriage.. if things dont get better.. i don't know.. my hubby is great, but way too soft.. Where is my support?

all i have to say is : This is the day that God has made and i will rejoice and be glad....

Tuesday, 02 March 2010

Change..

Wow.. so much has happened this past week that has affected my life in every way..

First and foremost.. my father in law passed away.. it's so unreal.. i keep feeling like he is just on vacation and that i will see him soon and that he will be home soon to help me babysit my kids.. i miss the way he would call out my madeliene's name.. it's so sad.. im so sad.. i feel like without his help.. it will be so hard for me and my little family now.. he was always to willing to help us and whenever we needed anything, he was there to help us.. it's so hard to take in that he has passed.. it's so hard to take in that no one will help us as much as he has......I miss him dearly.. he was like a father to me.. it's such a hard change.. i know that when i see him on the day of his funeral, it will be so hard to say goodbye.. his funeral will be held on Friday, March 19 to the 20th..
my husband hasn't had it set in yet.. i know that as soon as he sees my father in law it will hit him and he will be so sad.. i know that all i can do for him is support him and that is what i intend to do.. i love my husband so much more now that he is father-less.. i feel his pain.. eventhough i still have my father, i know how he is feeling inside.. don't get me wrong.. i love my husband before his dad died, but i love him even more now..
This is one change that will be hard on us.. but we will make it through it and everyday, i hope, will only get better..we will miss your smiley face.. your willingness to help when no one else will.. the way you love our kids and only wanted to teach them more than we could.. the way you would teach our kids hmong words and numbers.. how you loved them so much.. how you took them out to the park while we were at work on those sunny days.. how you cared so much for them.. how you only wanted our lives to be better.. all the hard work you put into our lives..it will all be remembered and we will love and miss you everyday of our lives..

RIP dad.. we love you so much..

Sunday, 17 January 2010

Sometimes i feel like i made a mistake getting married.. it's so sad....i'm so sad.. i dont understand what happened to the romantic guy who always wanted to take me places.. now a days.. it's just staying home or at work.. not a "hey..lets go eat out".. or "let us go away for the weekend".. or "surprise!!!!! i am taking you out on a date and found a baby sitter myself".. Really.. what does a wife have to do to deserve one date with the husband?? Trying to keep the flames going, but without any outings or anything.. it just starts to get boring and repeatative..like.. nothing happens.... it just gets dull.. and when promised something, why not go through with it.. it's a disappointment when you are promised a date, but then it get forgotten about or the day comes and it doesn't happen.. like WTF.. sometimes i feel like this is why marriages fail.. sucks to be in something like this.... it makes you want more.. like wanting to feel wanted.. or wanting to deserve more than just this..how can one person give more than 100% into a marriage and try to make things work but the other just loath around giving into the marriage like maybe 60%....

SIX dang years and not one surprise date.. or one date alone.. ... i guess it will just be like this and everyday just repeats itself then you just don't care about dates anymore.. and just let yourself go.. and forget about how wonderful life was like before marriage settled in.. Dont think of the past and just look on to the FUTURE right? it's like the highlight of your day is WORK.. pretty sad..hmmmm....

well.. take care xangans..

-Susan

Thursday, 14 January 2010

2010

WOW... i got on facebook and totally forgot about XANGA..sorry xangers..

anyways..2010..what a start..little nathan had to be in the hospital this past weekend for a high fever.. he seemed as miserable as i did during his stay there.. thanks to all that called and texted to check up on him.. everything was fine and he is now doing great...

MY RESOLUTIONS:

1. Be a great mother and wife..( i actually need to be a better mom and wife...this is my goal..)

2. Lose 30 pounds and tone up my body by summer...(sisters..please help me remember this one.. and i need to be reminded.. i will tell my gwynn to tell me not to eat so much..hehehe..I need my old body back..once i start working, i will go and work out before or after work..that is my goal..) I don't need to be twig skinny..just healthy skinny...

3. Save money..( i need it for school.. i need it for my kids... i NEED to learn how to save..)

4. Try and get my credit score up somehow....

5. Be more PATIENT

6. Get into St. Kate's Nursing Program and finish the program..

I will get all these goals DONE this year....

Wednesday, 16 December 2009

It's so weirdly quiet today since my father in law has Peevxwm and Maddy today.. Plus Gwynn is at school.. I had to take baby to a few appointments this morning and am now just at home for a bit then going back on the road to another appointment.. it's kinda nice and quiet without them, but i do miss them a lot too.. it's weird when it's this quiet.. it doesn't feel like home...it's just weird and quiet.. seems like there is something missing and there is.. the two kids that makes a lot of noise..hehehehe.... a nice rest from all the noise i suppose..

Nathan is doing well.. he is 7lbs and 2oz today.. i am surprised because he is only taking breast milk, but i'm glad he is gaining weight.. I'm doing well too.. lonely and bored at home, but trying to rest up before i can't anymore..right?.. hope all is well with everyone..Today is such a nice sunny day, but too bad it's super cold.. wish it was summer, so that we could at least take the kids to the park so they won't be so bored...

I am so grateful for Cha.. he helps me so much with this pregnancy.. cooking.. cleaning.. feeding baby the breastmilk at night.. taking care of the older ones.. letting me rest as much as possible.. he is a great guy i tell ya.. couldn't imagine being with anyone else who would help me and love me this much...i feel like i lay down all day..but even when he gets home from working at US bank and Sears.. he still wants me to rest more.. such a sweetheart...

well..
gotta go for now.. take care and be safe in this kind of weather...

-Susan